Reflection , Liberation  
by Cindian

As I listen to the wind, I hear my ancestors’ voices there    
Telling me to be strong for the storm has not yet begun   
As I look at the Cloud People, I see the images so clear   
Giving me pictures of what is to come for my people and me   
Telling me what to do for them   

I know that I must go against my greatest enemy—myself   
I must prevail over past addictions and obsessions   
Triumph over the old ways that I used to think
It has come time to walk on my path in a new direction

To look beyond the now and see what is there ahead for me
Voices come to me to tell me it will be okay
My guides are there to protect me and keep me safe
They not only keep me safe from my enemies and harm
But also from what I could do to myself if provoked

Just like there are good spirits in the parallel there are bad
They fight for our souls too so they may inhabit our bodies
I must ask the Creator to help me to distinguish between the two
He will help me to have sight beyond sight and hearing beyond hearing
He will keep me strong and whole

I must be alert to those who claim to care and may really have bad intentions
Those who may betray me, as what has happened so many times in the past
To those who have hurt me or betrayed me in the past
I say a chi miigwitch, for you have taught me well
It is those lessons that I will not forget, for they hurt me so bad

It was when you showed your real color that I then began to see the truth
However, that truth may have been hard to understand and accept
I have risen above it and become a much better woman because of it
Until the day when I will no longer see the sun rise     
I will continue to learn and pass on what I have learned    
Only in stories to my grandchildren, not harming others    ;
I will help then understand what it really means to be Indian    

Your Wonder Woman  by Cindian

I didn't ask to be Wonder Woman    
Who gave me that title anyway?   
I never claimed to be a hero   
In this time or this place  
I'm just tryin' to live my life  
Doin' what I think is right  
Just let me live  
So now you've put me on a pedestal
You know I'm gonna fall off
I'm not some freaken goddess
That's the one thing I'm sure of
All I want is to be happy
Follow my own intuition
Just let me live
Can I fall off the wall?
Can I tumble to the ground?
Will you see me as a human not an immortal or a failure?
Just see me for what I am
Yeah I wake up every morning
And I crawl outta bed
Sometimes I hate the mirror
And I hate the life I've led
I'm still hoping for my hero
The man to save the day
Heh Heh it ain't that way
I know I can't live that way!
I didn't ask to be your wonder woman
Why'd I get that title anyway?     
You forced me to be your hero    
I guess its just that way    ;
Can I please live my life    
Doin' what I think is right my way
Just let me live, oh can ya just let me live
Can I fall off the wall?
Can I tumble to the ground?
Will you see me as a human not an immortal or a failure
Just see me for who I am
Go find another hero!!
Hey be your own damn hero!!!
And just let me live

December 30, 2006

Darkness and Torment 
by Cindian

Black is the color that wipes over my soul     
Envelopes me in a gossamer blanket    
Security is what I feel    
Darkness has crept into my mind   
Creating misfortune and chaos   
So familiar when I am alone   
I see no light at the end of my tunnel
I feel no pain as I have become so numb   
Let me bask in this torment I have created.

One of These Days 
by Cindian

One of these days I will tell you I love you    
And I won't be afraid you won't say it to me    
One of these days I will find the courage
to look you in the eye   
And say what I have wanted to say for so many nights  
One of these days I will wake up and find you there  
But this time it won't be only a dream  
One of these days I am going to get the courage
To actually send you this written piece  
One of these days, yes one of these days....

Gone 
by Cindian

I'm lost in a haze, a whirlpool of desperation     
Things I thought I had now gone in the wind    
The ride was fun and enticing    
Lustful tides overcome my soul   
The taste was sweet but now unbearable   
I fell to your power your enchanting spell   
New saw my weakness come up to the surface
I crawled to your window tonight   
Begging for your attention     
Your grasp once comforting now suffocating
Let my spirit go so my body can follow     
Escape this shell and make me hollow
Search the dreamworld where I will fly    
Where I fly when you're gone
Numbness consumes where I once felt so much    
The darkness my blanket my security tonight
We used to sing each others love song
Both holding on for so long
Let my spirit go so my body can follow
Escape this shell and make me hollow
Search the dreamworld where I will fly
Where I fly when you're gone
And I'll be forever gone...

written 10-6-05

Anticipation  
by Cindian

Anticipation of what lies ahead     
Leaves my soul aching.    
I lay restless tonight in my bed.   
No dreaming, just wanting,  
Aching for your arms to be around me  
Enveloping me in sweet security.  
A breath of fresh air you are.
I feel like I've been suffocating.   
I can see you in my mind's eye    
Pacing awaiting my arrival.
You'll never admit it but you miss me too,    
As you run from the words I Love You

4-2-07

Bound Souls  
by Cindian

I surrender to you my body and soul.    
Being with you I am complete.    
Living without you I cannot conceive.   
I succumb to your sexual desires,  
Ones I never thought I'd do.  
Your fantasies are now mine; I live for you.  
It's strange for a dominant woman as I
ITo let down her guard on her heart to you.   
Feel honored I do not trust easily.    
I felt magic between you and I
The very first time we spoke.    
I surrender to you my body, my soul;
My entire being til I breathe no more.
We have always been together
Since the beginning of time.
Our souls are connected forever in an eduring life loop.
I love you with all of me
All the time my love

4-3-07